About Love Formula (In My Limited Experience)

Time flies. Suddenly, I realized it's  been almost a year since I said  "I do". And it's only going stronger ever since.  Though, I must say it's funny how  romance works. I had zero intention to even search for love, but man, little did I know that I am already in for a surprise. 

Simply a serendipity? I don't think so. It's rather a prayer that got its answer. The better news here is that I know He is in control and I just need to relax, go with the flow, and trust Him.  

No hard and fast rules in the sphere of relationship. It ain't easy for sure. It has nothing to do with race, religion, age even distance. But, maturity is a tick in my box. And that was just one factor among many.

If you want to know more, the below is my formula of love (in a not so-orderly manner) for a successful relationship. Hope, it can inspires you.

• Similar Curiousity and Interests. 
  In 2011, I started to wonder what was my purpose in life. I don't want to share the details here. But, to make the long story short, I yearn to know God. Little did I know this led me into meeting him, a soul longing for the same Diety. Turns out, he's been a great support throughout my journey. Not only that, he also likes peanut butter sandwich, pork ramen, Coldplay, Silento, Downton Abbey, vintage shops, bookstore and old restaurants, paintings, museums, history and politics (the last one is a must for all men I've dated - lol).
  
  

• Die-Hard Joker
  I do not know if his family or friends who induce so much humour into his brain, but he always find a joke to put a smile on my face. Sometimes I find him funny sometimes I don't, but no matter what he never gives up in this endeavour. For a serious person like me, this is a big score! After all, which girl who doesn't need a guy who can really makes her laugh. 
  
  

• Fit for Characters. 
  I am more of a thinker, a shy person, a non-risk taker, an analyst, an observer, sometimes can be overly inquisitive yet hiding my deepest thinking just for myself. I prefer to save the best for last privately. In contrast with me, he is an easy-going, super friendly, very chatty, risk taker, non-analytical, non-observer, outspoken and a street smart kind of guy. Well, what can I say, opposite does attract. But, it does not stop there. Our traits, though not perfect, influence and complete each other. They're just so contagious! I become easily at ease when I meet new people and becoming less and less shy. Whereas my darling hubby takes time to decide which restaurant we should go for a dinner. Oh, boy..... 

• Good Networks.
  In life, trust me, it's not only your mobile phone that needs a good network, but your marriage beckons the same exact thing, especially when you run a small business at the same time. I am so lucky that my husband is such a handsome help. He opens so many opportunities in my life, from freelance projects to tasting delish foods in every corner of town I've never roamed before. Thank you, Sayang!
  
  

• Similar Background, Way of Thinking and Passion.
  Some girls get married with the agenda so that her debts (even worse her family's debt) can be shifted to her husband's back. Well, this, though a common phenomenon in Jakarta, is a huge mistake. No wonder that the city's divorce rate increases every year. Luckily, both me and my husband are far away from that mindset. Our experience of living abroad forms our similar way of thinking in building and maintaining a relationship, that is the ability to be independent financially, support each other in every aspect of life (including growth in financial condition), understand each other, tolerate past mistakes & weaknesses, and be less judgemental. And honey, though we shares the passion to explore new places nationally and internationally, I still pay my mortgage that I already had prior to my marriage, solo!
  
  

• Loyalty, Romance and Good Manners.
  Unlike many men in of our 21th century world, throwing one or two cheesy lines is not his flair. He may be a joker, but never a tasteless pick-up liner. Not that I need an affirmation on the sphere of trust here. But, he is indeed a charming person who will naturally attract and select like-minded person and stay monogamously committed to that lucky lady (i.e., me). Thanks to his upbringing and harmonious family background. And guess what? The better news that follows is that he also opens a door for me, send me a bouquet of roses (randomly), pull a chair for me, take me to a candle light dinner, travel to far-flung lands together with me, singing romantic songs for me, waking me up with a sweet hello, and even give me the best foot massage ever...Needless to say a real man really knows how to treat a lady. In case you never hear about this,  a loyal heart coated with positive attitudes help form a solid foundation of a marriage. A romance is what makes that marriage alive and kicking!
  
  

• A Shoulder To Cry On.
  I may look bold and downright  flat (and boring perhaps) at the outside. But, trust me deep down there's a lot of emotions going on in my fragile dainty heart. I secretly cried when my parent's dog died. I can whimper like a 5 years old or when strongly provoked storm off like an angry sea I even lost my voice. But him.... He always find the time to listen to my sorrow and  calm my last nerve down (to the very last nerve). No need a smart and practical solution here, he understands that what a girl needs is just that someone who is willing to listen. At the end, when he smiles at me and say  "it is Ok. Everything is going to be just fine”. Strangely enough, I easily feel much relieved. Trust me, this ability to listen to your spouse is a strong skill in keeping and maintaining a marriage.
  
  

• Check and Balance. 
  Being a lawyer I always opine on many things. Be it law, politics, economy, or even fashion styles - you name it. I joined my uni's English parliamentary debate team many years ago. So, yeah I can argue for long and long hours! Try me!  Does it make us argue a lot? Oh, we sure do. But, our arguments (even differences) never weaken or break our relationship. On the contrary, he often counter argue my statement or proposition  (kudos to his involvement in Toastmaster club) which does not only makes our conversation so lively but also broadens up my knowledge and change my perspective the way I have never expected before.  Then I realize being with someone who can correct me positively provides me with a healthy "check and balance" system in my marriage. After all, who wants another dictator in a household? Not us, obviously.

• Health-concerned and a Dietary Police. 
  He is a man who is mentally and physically healthy. Thanks to his fuss on health-related matters I no longer be that  health ignorant b#tch! Being healthy is my top priority now cause I am mindful that health is priceless. And being healthy is all started with your mind. The same goes with that healthy diet. Now, you know why I watch what I eat and run at least once a week. And yes I just accepted his  #playoutside challenge for next week. Wait for me, I will keep you updated on how it goes. And why am I doing this? Because running a household and long-term relationship starts with a healthy mind. 
  
  

• Generous Heart. 
  I am not only referring to money donation. Generosity can take in many forms. Thank God, he is a man with a good heart who always want to help others. He puts other interests first before his and that's how he can really makes me feel that I am special. When you are with someone who is generous you will begin to give more and without you realizing the more you give the more you gain also. Eventually, you'll be surprised by the blessings received upon your household.
  
  

• RT. 
  After all those frogs you kiss, all the false hopes you went through, they say you'll find your prince charming. But does this prince charming have the same initial like you? Well in my case he surely does！and in fact he is the only guy I used to date who has the exact same initial name like me: RT...that stands for....whoops that's for me only to keep. Is it a destiny? I hope so. Amen to that.

I can write for more paragraphs if I have to list down all the qualities he has, but bottom-line is I am glad that I finally meet someone who make me laugh more, judge less, run more, eat less and most importantly love tremendously. 

Happiness. Be. Like.